Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize