did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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