I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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