just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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