Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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