She said her name was "party"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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