It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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