problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
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nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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