I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize