I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
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i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
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At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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