Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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