his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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