The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize