Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize