She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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