we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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