C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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