Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize