Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm always down for nudity.
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