how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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