Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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