oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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