I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize