My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize