Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize