I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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