sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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