Someone shit on the floor
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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