All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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