Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize