ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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