did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
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I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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