Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize