She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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