Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I just put wine in my tea
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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