Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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