fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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