You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize