I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize