I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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