Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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