I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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