I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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