so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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