Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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