Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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