I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize