Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize