if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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