chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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